In the self-help section at your favorite bookstore, you will find many books on relationships. Your most recent relationship has ended and you want some advice on where to go next or what to do about the broken heart left behind. The question you face is which book is the best one for you and your circumstances.
I have been the one standing at the bookshelf trying to decide which author is the most credible, so I understand some of your dilemma. Let us see if I can help you discover how to choose the book that is right for you.
Many of the books you see on the shelf were written by individuals with a great deal of education, but very little first hand experience. Textbook knowledge is great and it works in many areas of our lives. But, on matters of the heart, experience speaks louder than education.
Do not be smitten with authors with enough letters following their name to make alphabet soup. Instead, look for one who writes about how he has helped others restore a relationship. Look inside the book, read the table of contents. See if the author devotes a chapter to the situation you are in.
Avoid those books that give cut-and-dried information like do this for a specific period of time and a something wonderful will happen, like your ex will come back to you. Common sense tells you that may, or may not happen. That author is looking for a way into your wallet.
You have already talked with your friends and they have given you their take on what to do. For some reason their advice did not seem to be a solution for you, which led you to seek help from the bookstore. You want to look for a book that sheds new light on your situation. You want new information, something that will connect with you.
You have taken an inventory of the relationship and the things that caused its failure and brought this awful pain you have in your heart. You have a good idea where you must make corrections in your life. That is the answer you are looking for from the book. Be sure the author addresses your specific need, and that he gives you a guide for meeting that need.
Once you think you have found the special book, take a look at what those who have read the book say about the quality of help they received. If the comments on the book are written by others whose lives have been changed, it is a good choice.
The best recommendations are those that come from a lot of people from different lifestyles. If the book does not speak to people from other walks of life, even other parts of the country or world, be a little careful. If, on the other hand, it seems to cover the map so-to-speak, it just might be the book you are searching for.
Approach the self help section with caution because many of the books on the shelf are written by people who can string words together really well. The books may be long on style and short on help. Too few of the books were written by persons who have experienced the pain of a broken relationship.
Do not misunderstand. The bookstore is a great place to look for resources. But you do need to be careful and make sure the book you select addresses the issues you need help with.
