The stories you tell in your self-help book must have meaning to your audience. What kind of stories will interest them, provide them with hope and motivate them to move forward in their lives? The answer is "stories about people like them."
Think about what your audience looks like, believes, rejects, and values. Remember their age, gender, and other relevant characteristics. Most importantly, get in touch with their more difficult emotions: discouragement, frustration, guilt, shame and so forth. Then concentrate on the feelings you want them to feel: hope, competency, success and pride in a job well done. The more you understand your audience, how they think, what moves and motivates them, the better you will be at selecting most compelling stories.
Where can you find relevant stories?
I've used stories in all of my books and no doubt your favorite self-help book authors have as well. You may have wondered when reading self-help books, where do these stories come from? Stories can be found all around you. Let's start with your story and how you can use it in your book.
1. Your story
If you want to develop a more intimate relationship you're your readers, it's a good to include it at the beginning of your book, such as in your introduction or in the first chapter. In Take the U Out of Clutter, Mark Brunetz and I each told our stories in the first chapter. You can also include snippets of your story throughout the book when your experiences are relevant.
Since your story is about you, it can be one of the easiest ways to illustrate your message. Most readers are curious about the author's experiences. Occasionally, authors get overly obsessed with themselves and turn off their readers. But one of the most effectively way to create a personal connection between yourself and your readers is to describe your own foibles and achievements, and poke a little fun at yourself.
2. Your story in disguise
In addition to including stories about yourself, you can disguise your experiences and present the story as if it happened to someone else. In my first book, When Helping You Is Hurting Me, the clients I described were actually based on my own issues, inner conflicts and challenges. To the extent that the stories reflected my personal experiences, they were "true". But I embodied these aspects in characters that I created.
A word of warning belongs here:Because an engaging story centers on conflict, your story will often include other people. Be careful about telling someone else's story without their permission. Yes, you may have gone through a divorce and you want to draw from that experience. But chances are your ex won't be too keen on you exposing his or her personal life for all the world to see. If you use someone else's story in a way that can be identified, whether it's a part of your story or not, it's important that you get a signed release form that person.
3. Observation
Where else can you find stories? From both your personal and professional worlds. You can include stories from your clients, patients and customers. No doubt someone in your family has had an experience relevant to your topic. Round this out with experiences your friends have had and there's quite a large pool to draw from. As with the previous section, stories that are about other people should be told only once a signed release form is obtained.
4. Interviews
I've interviewed hundreds of people over my career for the specific purpose of getting real stories to include in my books. I bend over backwards to make sure that those I interview are happy with the way they are portrayed.
I've never had any difficulty with using real stories because I work so closely with those I interview, and I have everyone sign a release form. However, it only takes one disgruntled person to file a law suit, and who has time for that? Search online for sample forms, or request that your publishing house provide you with appropriate forms. But it is a good idea to get something in writing as close to the beginning of the project as possible.
5. Someone else's story in disguise
A way to sidestep having to get signed release forms is to disguise the identity of the people in the story. Similar to basing the stories and characters in your own story, you can change specific features such as gender, location, age, and their relationship to you. It's important to change enough of the features so that no one, even those closest to you, can figure out who you're referring to.
6. Composites
Another popular way to get the stories you need while protecting confidentiality and privacy is to combine features from two or more people you know. This can be helpful if the true story doesn't illustrate the point you want to make as well as you'd like. Often, reality doesn't fit into the nice, tidy categories we authors have created. As long as you're up front with your audience about the nature of your stories, you can blend several people into one illustration.
7. Pure Fiction
There is a fine line between creating a composite and writing pure fiction. Basic honesty would restrict you from "making up" success stories when, in fact, no one has ever been helped by your program. It's unethical to claim that Mary lost 50 pounds when no one has ever lost that much weight on your diet, or to report that your conflict resolution program saved Charlie and Pamela's marriage when your clients have ended up divorced. Create your composite stories carefully, with a keen eye on illustrating what is true. You can run into problems if your stories are more fiction than genuine experiences people have had.
Acknowledge your story process
I'm often asked by readers I meet if the stories in my books are true. Since readers often identify with the people in the stories, they are naturally curious about how "real" these people are. I tell them the truth, whatever that may be for the book in question. Sometimes all of the characters are parts of myself, some stories give identifying features and I use people's real names, and some of my stories are based in fact but told in a way that is not exploitive. I've never had anyone express concern about the stories I've used as long as I'm up front with them. To strengthen the credibility of your stories, I recommend that you acknowledge your process somewhere in the book.
